English tracks
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SoulFood is about the new light after darker and heavier times. About making room again for lightness, trust and faith — without pretending that everything suddenly becomes easy. Open the windows, sweep the old stuff out the door, clear away what no longer belongs and dare to be honest about what is really there. Sometimes a new chapter simply begins by making space for what is ready to grow again.
Lyrics
Open windows
Fresh new air
Let the sunlight settle slowly everywhere
Pour out trust in overflowing jars
Serve rainbow meals beneath the stars
Dish out faith in steaming pans
Burn your fingers on the truth if you can
Two small spoons of sugar in bitter wine
Just to make the hard things easier to survive
But before you swallow, clear your space
Let old ghosts finally leave the place
Open windows
Fresh new air
Let the dust dance softly in the morning glare
SoulFood
Let your heart start breathing again
SoulFood
Nothing left to hide in shame
Stand inside your own sunlight
Like the day can still begin again tonight
Hang bright ribbons between fear and grace
Throw some love in the soup to change the taste
Freedom sometimes feels a little strange
Till you notice nobody’s pulling on your chains
Wash the walls with water and light
Leave your worries somewhere out of sight
Not everything must bloom today
Some flowers grow unnoticed anyway
Open your heart
Give it space
Let happiness move in and rearrange the place
SoulFood
Let your heart start breathing again
SoulFood
Nothing left to hide in shame
Stand inside your own sunlight again
Like the day can still begin again tonight
No rush
No fight
No voice deciding who you are tonight
Just music
And warmer ground
And slowly learning to let yourself be found
SoulFood
Let the heaviness roll off your shoulders now
SoulFood
You don’t have to carry everything somehow
Stand inside your own sunlight
And feel how your soul can come to life
Fresh new air
Let the sunlight settle slowly everywhere
Pour out trust in overflowing jars
Serve rainbow meals beneath the stars
Dish out faith in steaming pans
Burn your fingers on the truth if you can
Two small spoons of sugar in bitter wine
Just to make the hard things easier to survive
But before you swallow, clear your space
Let old ghosts finally leave the place
Open windows
Fresh new air
Let the dust dance softly in the morning glare
SoulFood
Let your heart start breathing again
SoulFood
Nothing left to hide in shame
Stand inside your own sunlight
Like the day can still begin again tonight
Hang bright ribbons between fear and grace
Throw some love in the soup to change the taste
Freedom sometimes feels a little strange
Till you notice nobody’s pulling on your chains
Wash the walls with water and light
Leave your worries somewhere out of sight
Not everything must bloom today
Some flowers grow unnoticed anyway
Open your heart
Give it space
Let happiness move in and rearrange the place
SoulFood
Let your heart start breathing again
SoulFood
Nothing left to hide in shame
Stand inside your own sunlight again
Like the day can still begin again tonight
No rush
No fight
No voice deciding who you are tonight
Just music
And warmer ground
And slowly learning to let yourself be found
SoulFood
Let the heaviness roll off your shoulders now
SoulFood
You don’t have to carry everything somehow
Stand inside your own sunlight
And feel how your soul can come to life
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Story
Some encounters last for years, others only for a moment. Yet each can leave something behind. A glance, a conversation, a love, a friendship or a chance meeting can set something in motion that might never have happened otherwise. Not every encounter is meant to last. That doesn’t make it any less meaningful.
Lyrics
People think that moving on
Means you leave it all behind
Like the story never happened
Like you erase a piece of time
But some things stay in silence
Not in pain, but understood
You became a part of me
In a way that always will
A page that fell into my story
Written softly in the sand
Even when the waves have taken
Still the words are in my hands
I didn’t forget you
I let it be true
We met for a reason
That carried us through
I didn’t forget you
I let it be what it was
We met for a reason
And that reason has run its course
You were never a mistake
Everything we had was real
All the laughter, all the moments
Even what I couldn’t feel
You touched places deep inside me
I didn’t understand back then
Only later came the clarity
Nothing here was ever in vain
Some arrive just like a season
Touch your soul and then they go
Leaving something waking in you
Something only they could show
I didn’t forget you
I let it be true
We met for a reason
That carried us through
I didn’t forget you
I let it be what it was
We met for a reason
And that reason has run its course
Not every love is meant to stay
Not every path is meant to last
Some are only there to open doors
And gently close them in the past
Sometimes pain and sometimes nothing
Just a quiet passing breeze
But even in the leaving
There’s a meaning underneath
So no, I didn’t forget you
I made peace with what was true
Our story reached its ending
Because it said what it came to
We met for just a moment
And that moment was enough
Not forever, not forgotten
Just a story shaped by love
Means you leave it all behind
Like the story never happened
Like you erase a piece of time
But some things stay in silence
Not in pain, but understood
You became a part of me
In a way that always will
A page that fell into my story
Written softly in the sand
Even when the waves have taken
Still the words are in my hands
I didn’t forget you
I let it be true
We met for a reason
That carried us through
I didn’t forget you
I let it be what it was
We met for a reason
And that reason has run its course
You were never a mistake
Everything we had was real
All the laughter, all the moments
Even what I couldn’t feel
You touched places deep inside me
I didn’t understand back then
Only later came the clarity
Nothing here was ever in vain
Some arrive just like a season
Touch your soul and then they go
Leaving something waking in you
Something only they could show
I didn’t forget you
I let it be true
We met for a reason
That carried us through
I didn’t forget you
I let it be what it was
We met for a reason
And that reason has run its course
Not every love is meant to stay
Not every path is meant to last
Some are only there to open doors
And gently close them in the past
Sometimes pain and sometimes nothing
Just a quiet passing breeze
But even in the leaving
There’s a meaning underneath
So no, I didn’t forget you
I made peace with what was true
Our story reached its ending
Because it said what it came to
We met for just a moment
And that moment was enough
Not forever, not forgotten
Just a story shaped by love
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Story
Little Blue Scarab is about waiting for the moment when a new season, a new month or a new promise will finally change something inside you. But time passes without the emptiness simply going away. In fact, every time you tell yourself, “Then… then it will get better,” and it doesn’t, you only become more restless, more discouraged and more down.
Until, on an ordinary morning, on an ordinary street, something small happens: a little blue scarab, a found feather, a shell — small things that promise nothing and yet awaken something. Not a clear picture of the future, but a quiet kind of knowing that something is still alive, and that hope is not tied to any season or any particular moment in time.
The Stockdale Paradox means facing the harsh reality without deceiving yourself about how long it will take, while simultaneously holding on to the belief that you will ultimately prevail.
Little Blue Scarab is the basis for the German version, Ein Leises Wissen. You can find it among the German tracks.
Until, on an ordinary morning, on an ordinary street, something small happens: a little blue scarab, a found feather, a shell — small things that promise nothing and yet awaken something. Not a clear picture of the future, but a quiet kind of knowing that something is still alive, and that hope is not tied to any season or any particular moment in time.
The Stockdale Paradox means facing the harsh reality without deceiving yourself about how long it will take, while simultaneously holding on to the belief that you will ultimately prevail.
Little Blue Scarab is the basis for the German version, Ein Leises Wissen. You can find it among the German tracks.
Lyrics
In November I was counting
Down to Christmas light
Hope and fear were sitting
Side by side at night
Every promise had a season
I could hold on to
Every “then it will be better”
Almost felt like truth
But time kept breaking open
Every fragile plan
I kept reaching endings far before their time
Like a version of me waiting
Somewhere down the line
But the days don’t heal the hollow
They just pass me by
And no season ever answered
All those silent whys
February light lay flat
Against my skin
Dreaming spring would wake
Some kind of strength within
And the streets filled up with people
Turning toward the sun
Dancing into something
I could not become
All that growing green around me
Didn’t reach inside
I kept reaching endings far before their time
Like a version of me waiting
Somewhere down the line
Summer said, “Now maybe”
Warmth upon my face
But the river kept on running
Through an empty place
I thought the ocean wind might clear me
Blow the silence out
But even waves kept whispering
The same unspoken doubt
Firelight and laughter
Close but not within
Every song the birds were singing
Fell back into minor again
So I stopped asking when
Then one morning, without meaning
On an ordinary street
There it was — a small blue scarab
At my feet
Something in me stirred awake
Soft and unbidden
Not some promise of tomorrow
Just a moment, briefly risen
Not a future I can picture
Not a fixed design
Just a quiet kind of knowing
Outside of time
Now I keep these little treasures
On a wooden frame
A feather, shell, a golden heartbeat
With no name
I’ve no idea where this is leading
I don’t need to see
There is something here still living
Quietly in me
A deeper kind of hoping
That the dark can’t bind
Not tied to any season
Not held inside of time
Down to Christmas light
Hope and fear were sitting
Side by side at night
Every promise had a season
I could hold on to
Every “then it will be better”
Almost felt like truth
But time kept breaking open
Every fragile plan
I kept reaching endings far before their time
Like a version of me waiting
Somewhere down the line
But the days don’t heal the hollow
They just pass me by
And no season ever answered
All those silent whys
February light lay flat
Against my skin
Dreaming spring would wake
Some kind of strength within
And the streets filled up with people
Turning toward the sun
Dancing into something
I could not become
All that growing green around me
Didn’t reach inside
I kept reaching endings far before their time
Like a version of me waiting
Somewhere down the line
Summer said, “Now maybe”
Warmth upon my face
But the river kept on running
Through an empty place
I thought the ocean wind might clear me
Blow the silence out
But even waves kept whispering
The same unspoken doubt
Firelight and laughter
Close but not within
Every song the birds were singing
Fell back into minor again
So I stopped asking when
Then one morning, without meaning
On an ordinary street
There it was — a small blue scarab
At my feet
Something in me stirred awake
Soft and unbidden
Not some promise of tomorrow
Just a moment, briefly risen
Not a future I can picture
Not a fixed design
Just a quiet kind of knowing
Outside of time
Now I keep these little treasures
On a wooden frame
A feather, shell, a golden heartbeat
With no name
I’ve no idea where this is leading
I don’t need to see
There is something here still living
Quietly in me
A deeper kind of hoping
That the dark can’t bind
Not tied to any season
Not held inside of time
●Spotify
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Story
Something’s Off is about that moment when you sense that something has changed, before you can explain exactly what. A small shift, a look, a sentence, a phone checked one time too many. You keep telling yourself it’s all in your head, while something underneath keeps telling you otherwise.
Something’s Off is an English adaptation of the German song Irgendetwas stimmt hier nicht
Something’s Off is an English adaptation of the German song Irgendetwas stimmt hier nicht
Lyrics
[Instrumental]
[Verse 1]
One, two, three
Here we are again
Middle of summer
You’re still my man
But something shifted in the frame
New words in the air
That don’t belong to you
And I know every corner
Of your life
So why does all this feel so new
Tracing this beat
That doesn’t belong to you
(whisper)
New shirt, how nice
[Pre-Chorus]
That sentence
That look
Look-look-look
Why do I hear
Something underneath
While my heart counts
Every missing beat
[Chorus]
Something’s off
But the whole room shines
Your touch
Your smile
Your “I’m right here”
Still sounds out of time
And all at once
Everything feels
Strangely out of place
Like your words
Have been rehearsed
For somebody else’s face
I keep talking myself down
Till I think it’s all in my head
(whisper)
And then you look away
Instead
[Verse 2]
Later in bed, half awake
I reach into dark air
Then laughter again
Our old private jokes
Like nothing’s there
For a second
Everything looks like before
Then I start again
Counting every silence
Like numbers on the floor
(whisper)
Looked at your phone twice
In four minutes
[Pre-Chorus 2]
One more sentence
That lingers too long
One more glance
That doesn’t fit
Doesn’t belong
Middle of summer
Suddenly winter
I fix our dinner
But something stirs beneath
While my heart counts
Every missing beat
[Chorus]
Something’s off
While we dance around it
Between your words
Something unfamiliar moves
And I count every silence
Every glance
Every hesitation
Till I no longer trust
What should be true
(whisper)
Too quick
Too neat
[Bridge]
You explain away the cracks
Velvet breakdown
Every time
You smooth it over
Like a four-leaf clover
Three
Two
One
[Final Chorus]
I’m falling out
Of a failing paradise
I want out
Of your labyrinth
All this checking
Everything twice
While you keep playing
Mister Nice
[Outro]
I’ve been down this road before
And I don’t need
To know more
I’m taking my dancing
Off your floor
[Verse 1]
One, two, three
Here we are again
Middle of summer
You’re still my man
But something shifted in the frame
New words in the air
That don’t belong to you
And I know every corner
Of your life
So why does all this feel so new
Tracing this beat
That doesn’t belong to you
(whisper)
New shirt, how nice
[Pre-Chorus]
That sentence
That look
Look-look-look
Why do I hear
Something underneath
While my heart counts
Every missing beat
[Chorus]
Something’s off
But the whole room shines
Your touch
Your smile
Your “I’m right here”
Still sounds out of time
And all at once
Everything feels
Strangely out of place
Like your words
Have been rehearsed
For somebody else’s face
I keep talking myself down
Till I think it’s all in my head
(whisper)
And then you look away
Instead
[Verse 2]
Later in bed, half awake
I reach into dark air
Then laughter again
Our old private jokes
Like nothing’s there
For a second
Everything looks like before
Then I start again
Counting every silence
Like numbers on the floor
(whisper)
Looked at your phone twice
In four minutes
[Pre-Chorus 2]
One more sentence
That lingers too long
One more glance
That doesn’t fit
Doesn’t belong
Middle of summer
Suddenly winter
I fix our dinner
But something stirs beneath
While my heart counts
Every missing beat
[Chorus]
Something’s off
While we dance around it
Between your words
Something unfamiliar moves
And I count every silence
Every glance
Every hesitation
Till I no longer trust
What should be true
(whisper)
Too quick
Too neat
[Bridge]
You explain away the cracks
Velvet breakdown
Every time
You smooth it over
Like a four-leaf clover
Three
Two
One
[Final Chorus]
I’m falling out
Of a failing paradise
I want out
Of your labyrinth
All this checking
Everything twice
While you keep playing
Mister Nice
[Outro]
I’ve been down this road before
And I don’t need
To know more
I’m taking my dancing
Off your floor
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Story
Read Me Again is about the way women have been seen, described and defined throughout history. Appearance becomes evidence, assumptions become facts, and old prejudices return in new clothes.
For centuries, the same stories have been copied and pasted. But a woman is not an image, a footnote, or a story written for her by someone else.
For centuries, the same stories have been copied and pasted. But a woman is not an image, a footnote, or a story written for her by someone else.
Lyrics
We meet the story every day
Before we meet the soul
The ink is barely dry
Or the body’s barely cold
You see a face
Invent the rest
Just flip your page
No questions asked
We wear
Inherited skin
Few look within
Every portrait, every line
Across ages, across time
Stones get buried
Beneath a borrowed rhyme
You see a face
Copy
Paste
Reed me again
Go on
Reed me again
You’ll never find
What you came looking for
You brought her with you
Missing chapters, missing voices
Same beginning
Same damn end
And you
You wrote your story
Across my face
You call it wisdom
I call it recycled ink
Old conclusions
And an updated link
One glance becomes a verdict
One silence sets the hook
Hidden meanings bloom like weeds
In a line I never took
You reach the end before we start
Already casting me
In a script you know by heart
Every portrait, every line
Across ages, across time
You see a face
Copy
Paste
Reed me again
Go on
Reed me again
You still miss
What’s staring you in the face
Missing chapters
Missing voices
Same beginning
Same damn end
Some things lose their beauty
The moment they’re possessed
Some things die
The moment their name is spent
And you
You wrote your history
Across my face
Every answer
Starts from yesterday
Every judgment
Knows the words to say
Wisdom?
Recycled ink.
You don’t reed me
You read only echoes
Until they sound
Like mythologies
Reed me again
For you haven’t read
You read the headline
Skipped the pages
Missed the soul
Inside this body
You keep reading
History books
And use fresh headlines
Same old ink
Same beginnings
Same damn end
You never listened
So reed me again
Before we meet the soul
The ink is barely dry
Or the body’s barely cold
You see a face
Invent the rest
Just flip your page
No questions asked
We wear
Inherited skin
Few look within
Every portrait, every line
Across ages, across time
Stones get buried
Beneath a borrowed rhyme
You see a face
Copy
Paste
Reed me again
Go on
Reed me again
You’ll never find
What you came looking for
You brought her with you
Missing chapters, missing voices
Same beginning
Same damn end
And you
You wrote your story
Across my face
You call it wisdom
I call it recycled ink
Old conclusions
And an updated link
One glance becomes a verdict
One silence sets the hook
Hidden meanings bloom like weeds
In a line I never took
You reach the end before we start
Already casting me
In a script you know by heart
Every portrait, every line
Across ages, across time
You see a face
Copy
Paste
Reed me again
Go on
Reed me again
You still miss
What’s staring you in the face
Missing chapters
Missing voices
Same beginning
Same damn end
Some things lose their beauty
The moment they’re possessed
Some things die
The moment their name is spent
And you
You wrote your history
Across my face
Every answer
Starts from yesterday
Every judgment
Knows the words to say
Wisdom?
Recycled ink.
You don’t reed me
You read only echoes
Until they sound
Like mythologies
Reed me again
For you haven’t read
You read the headline
Skipped the pages
Missed the soul
Inside this body
You keep reading
History books
And use fresh headlines
Same old ink
Same beginnings
Same damn end
You never listened
So reed me again
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Story
Can You Handle Her is about the woman who is strong, free and outspoken
Exactly as someone says he wants her to be. Until that strength challenges him.
The song asks a simple question: do you really want her free, or only as long as she stays within your boundaries?
Exactly as someone says he wants her to be. Until that strength challenges him.
The song asks a simple question: do you really want her free, or only as long as she stays within your boundaries?
Lyrics
You say you want a woman who’s strong
But you flinch when she don’t back down
She draws her lines in permanent ink
While you’re still tracing doubt around
You love the sound of fearless lips
Until they call you out by name
You want the heat without the burn
The glory without the flame
She don’t need a king or saviour
Don’t need permission now
She’s already standing in her power
Can you stay or back out
Do you want her free or do you want her small
Do you want her fire or control it all
She won’t bend just to be your world
But if you’re brave you’re in the centre of it all
Can you handle her
Can you handle her now
She’s everything you said you wanted
Can you handle her power
She don’t stay quiet just to soothe you
She speaks because it’s true
Her mind cuts sharp as broken glass
And it’s looking straight at you
No she won’t carry your excuses
Or hide what you won’t face
She stands solid in her own life
Can you stand in her space
She won’t shrink to make you taller
Won’t dim to let you shine
She’s not afraid of your reflection
Are you afraid of what you’ll find
Do you want her free or do you want her tame
Do you want her wild or safely contained
She don’t need your empty promises
Just a man who can carry his own name
Can you handle her
Can you handle her now
She’s everything you said you wanted
Can you handle her power
You see her that’s where you start
Do you want her free or do you want her small
Do you want her fire or nothing at all
She won’t bend just to be your world
But if you’re brave you’re in the centre of it all
Can you handle her
Can you handle her now
She’s everything you said you wanted
Can you handle her power
Can you handle her
Can you handle her truth
She’s not yours to be conquered
She’s choosing you
So don’t say you want her
If you just want control
She won’t bend just to be your world
But if you’re brave you’re in the centre of it all
Can you handle her?!
But you flinch when she don’t back down
She draws her lines in permanent ink
While you’re still tracing doubt around
You love the sound of fearless lips
Until they call you out by name
You want the heat without the burn
The glory without the flame
She don’t need a king or saviour
Don’t need permission now
She’s already standing in her power
Can you stay or back out
Do you want her free or do you want her small
Do you want her fire or control it all
She won’t bend just to be your world
But if you’re brave you’re in the centre of it all
Can you handle her
Can you handle her now
She’s everything you said you wanted
Can you handle her power
She don’t stay quiet just to soothe you
She speaks because it’s true
Her mind cuts sharp as broken glass
And it’s looking straight at you
No she won’t carry your excuses
Or hide what you won’t face
She stands solid in her own life
Can you stand in her space
She won’t shrink to make you taller
Won’t dim to let you shine
She’s not afraid of your reflection
Are you afraid of what you’ll find
Do you want her free or do you want her tame
Do you want her wild or safely contained
She don’t need your empty promises
Just a man who can carry his own name
Can you handle her
Can you handle her now
She’s everything you said you wanted
Can you handle her power
You see her that’s where you start
Do you want her free or do you want her small
Do you want her fire or nothing at all
She won’t bend just to be your world
But if you’re brave you’re in the centre of it all
Can you handle her
Can you handle her now
She’s everything you said you wanted
Can you handle her power
Can you handle her
Can you handle her truth
She’s not yours to be conquered
She’s choosing you
So don’t say you want her
If you just want control
She won’t bend just to be your world
But if you’re brave you’re in the centre of it all
Can you handle her?!
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Story
Darker Ink is about how one thing that happens in a relationship can write itself across everything that came before. About the unspoken rules we understand between people — and what happens when someone crosses them. Some things don’t just change the present; they change the way you can feel the past. You know the love was there, but you can no longer find your way back to how it felt.
Lyrics
For all the times
I watched you,
when you never knew
I did.
I searched for us
inside a song...
still waiting here
for it.
I had the words
this morning.
I almost wrote
them down.
But every word
just fades...
leaving empty
lines behind.
I know
I loved you once.
I know
that much is true.
So why do all
the tender parts
keep slipping
out of view?
I know our story
started
somewhere
warm and bright.
But someone wrote
across the pages
in darker ink
one night.
In the darkness
I listened
to the rhythm
of your sleep.
I thought those little moments
were mine alone
to keep.
I imagine
firelight,
your hands
around my face.
I must have felt
at home back then...
I just can't find
that place.
I had the words
this morning.
I almost wrote
them down.
But every line
just wanders off,
as if they'd
lost all sound.
I know
I loved you once.
I know
that much is true.
So why are all
my memories
slowly forgetting
what they knew?
I know exactly
where to look,
but never
where to stand.
The ending wrote
across the start
with an unforgiving
hand.
I know we walked
the woods together.
Still free...
and unaware.
We thought forever
needed nothing.
It was already
there.
But every time
I try
to write
those days again...
the page remembers
more than I do,
and won't let me
back in.
For someone wrote
across the pages
in darker ink
that night,
that night.
But I know...
I know our love
is somewhere,
written down
deep within.
I just can't find...
I just can't find
my way
back in.
I watched you,
when you never knew
I did.
I searched for us
inside a song...
still waiting here
for it.
I had the words
this morning.
I almost wrote
them down.
But every word
just fades...
leaving empty
lines behind.
I know
I loved you once.
I know
that much is true.
So why do all
the tender parts
keep slipping
out of view?
I know our story
started
somewhere
warm and bright.
But someone wrote
across the pages
in darker ink
one night.
In the darkness
I listened
to the rhythm
of your sleep.
I thought those little moments
were mine alone
to keep.
I imagine
firelight,
your hands
around my face.
I must have felt
at home back then...
I just can't find
that place.
I had the words
this morning.
I almost wrote
them down.
But every line
just wanders off,
as if they'd
lost all sound.
I know
I loved you once.
I know
that much is true.
So why are all
my memories
slowly forgetting
what they knew?
I know exactly
where to look,
but never
where to stand.
The ending wrote
across the start
with an unforgiving
hand.
I know we walked
the woods together.
Still free...
and unaware.
We thought forever
needed nothing.
It was already
there.
But every time
I try
to write
those days again...
the page remembers
more than I do,
and won't let me
back in.
For someone wrote
across the pages
in darker ink
that night,
that night.
But I know...
I know our love
is somewhere,
written down
deep within.
I just can't find...
I just can't find
my way
back in.
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Story
Fragments is about loss and the strange way someone can remain present after they are gone. In scents, sounds, movements and the smallest everyday details. Memories don’t simply disappear — sometimes the smallest detail brings someone vividly close again.
Lyrics
When you were gone, the world went quiet,
even though the traffic kept its sound.
The house was standing just like always,
but something in it had burned down.
I walked those rooms without a heartbeat,
dust in the light where you had been.
Everything outside kept moving —
but nothing moved beneath my skin.
I pressed my face into your clothes,
still holding traces of you.
I pulled the sheets like time could break
and somehow make the impossible true.
A clothespin glowing in the sunlight,
a stack of letters, a kettle’s hum —
small, ordinary constellations
where all your scattered pieces run.
A human life is built from fragments —
from scent and sound and fleeting sight.
And I don’t know how to release them
without losing you twice.
I try to breathe you out of memory,
but memory breathes you back in me.
You live in corners of perception,
in shadows only I can see.
I close my eyes to end the ache —
but that’s exactly where you are.
Not in the silence after loss,
but scattered like a thousand stars.
Outside I saw your way of walking,
a gesture shaped the way you stood.
For one suspended breath of daylight
it felt disturbingly real and good.
A certain cadence in a sentence,
a shoulder turning just that way —
My mind rebuilds you out of echoes
whenever chance gets in the way.
The world keeps offering reminders
in markets, waiting rooms, cafés.
You live inside the smallest details —
and they undo me every day.
I try to breathe you out of memory,
but memory breathes you back in me.
You’re in the dust and in the daylight,
in everything I hear and see.
I close my eyes to stop the feeling —
but that’s exactly where you are.
Not gone, not silent, not erased —
just scattered like a thousand stars.
A thousand fragments.
A thousand pieces.
A thousand stars.
even though the traffic kept its sound.
The house was standing just like always,
but something in it had burned down.
I walked those rooms without a heartbeat,
dust in the light where you had been.
Everything outside kept moving —
but nothing moved beneath my skin.
I pressed my face into your clothes,
still holding traces of you.
I pulled the sheets like time could break
and somehow make the impossible true.
A clothespin glowing in the sunlight,
a stack of letters, a kettle’s hum —
small, ordinary constellations
where all your scattered pieces run.
A human life is built from fragments —
from scent and sound and fleeting sight.
And I don’t know how to release them
without losing you twice.
I try to breathe you out of memory,
but memory breathes you back in me.
You live in corners of perception,
in shadows only I can see.
I close my eyes to end the ache —
but that’s exactly where you are.
Not in the silence after loss,
but scattered like a thousand stars.
Outside I saw your way of walking,
a gesture shaped the way you stood.
For one suspended breath of daylight
it felt disturbingly real and good.
A certain cadence in a sentence,
a shoulder turning just that way —
My mind rebuilds you out of echoes
whenever chance gets in the way.
The world keeps offering reminders
in markets, waiting rooms, cafés.
You live inside the smallest details —
and they undo me every day.
I try to breathe you out of memory,
but memory breathes you back in me.
You’re in the dust and in the daylight,
in everything I hear and see.
I close my eyes to stop the feeling —
but that’s exactly where you are.
Not gone, not silent, not erased —
just scattered like a thousand stars.
A thousand fragments.
A thousand pieces.
A thousand stars.
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Story
My Favorite Mistake is about knowing something isn’t good for you and choosing it anyway. About losing yourself in something you already knew wouldn’t work. And finally deciding: I won’t leave myself behind again.
Lyrics
What if this never happened
Where would it have left me
What if this belonged to another life
Another version of me
I’d be light on a Sunday morning
Easy in my skin
Nothing pulling underneath me
No storm I’m standing in
I try to understand your meaning
Make sense of upside down
I try to stand without leaning
But my heart won’t leave the ground
This is a shit-show, ridiculous in size
My favorite mistake
Yeah, I made it twice
Yeah, I know better now
How do I clean this mess you left me in
How do I rewrite the script you wrote
It’s this darkness I’m drowning in
So I leave myself this note
My favorite mistake
Yeah, I made it twice
I wanted something real to hold
Not something I defend
You gave me just enough to stay
And nothing in the end
Funny how I saw it all
And still chose to ignore
Knew exactly what you were
Still came back for more
Yeah, I know better now
How do I clean this mess you left me in
How do I rewrite the script you wrote
It’s this darkness I’m drowning in
So I leave myself this note
My favorite mistake
Yeah, I made it twice
I will never leave my heart behind
In the hands of the likes of you
I will stay right by my own side
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do
I don’t need another warning sign
I don’t need another proof
Keep that in mind, my dearest mind
I’ll choose the higher ground
My favorite mistake
Yeah… not this time
Where would it have left me
What if this belonged to another life
Another version of me
I’d be light on a Sunday morning
Easy in my skin
Nothing pulling underneath me
No storm I’m standing in
I try to understand your meaning
Make sense of upside down
I try to stand without leaning
But my heart won’t leave the ground
This is a shit-show, ridiculous in size
My favorite mistake
Yeah, I made it twice
Yeah, I know better now
How do I clean this mess you left me in
How do I rewrite the script you wrote
It’s this darkness I’m drowning in
So I leave myself this note
My favorite mistake
Yeah, I made it twice
I wanted something real to hold
Not something I defend
You gave me just enough to stay
And nothing in the end
Funny how I saw it all
And still chose to ignore
Knew exactly what you were
Still came back for more
Yeah, I know better now
How do I clean this mess you left me in
How do I rewrite the script you wrote
It’s this darkness I’m drowning in
So I leave myself this note
My favorite mistake
Yeah, I made it twice
I will never leave my heart behind
In the hands of the likes of you
I will stay right by my own side
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do
I don’t need another warning sign
I don’t need another proof
Keep that in mind, my dearest mind
I’ll choose the higher ground
My favorite mistake
Yeah… not this time
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Story
Blue Pill plays with the familiar choice from The Matrix: do you want to keep the comfortable illusion, or do you want to know what is really underneath it?
In this song, that choice becomes personal. Three different women live inside one mind ; desire, fire, fantasy, doubt and temptation. All of them real, all of them part of the same person.
Sometimes you want the truth. Sometimes you long for the comfort of not knowing.
Blue Pill explores the tension between reality and fantasy, between knowing and choosing not to know — and how much truth we can actually bear.
In this song, that choice becomes personal. Three different women live inside one mind ; desire, fire, fantasy, doubt and temptation. All of them real, all of them part of the same person.
Sometimes you want the truth. Sometimes you long for the comfort of not knowing.
Blue Pill explores the tension between reality and fantasy, between knowing and choosing not to know — and how much truth we can actually bear.
Lyrics
The sun keeps spilling secrets
Into the corners of my eyes
Golden splinters in yours caught in sunlight
Turn to butterflies
A question falls between us
But drifts beyond my reach
And every song inside my head
Starts singing over me
Why oh why
Why oh why
Isn't there a blue pill
Give me the blue pill
I don't want to know
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
Blue pill
Blue pill
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
One is made of moonlight
One is made of fire
One keeps dancing barefoot
Through my wild desire
Peter Pan is laughing
Somewhere in the trees
Titania and Oberon
Are whispering through the leaves
A black spider spins her silver thread
Across a glass of wine
And every road I shouldn't take
Looks beautiful tonight
Give me the blue pill
I don't want to know
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
Blue pill
Blue pill
I am tired of choosing
Who I have to be today
One heart filled with longing
One heart dressed in sin
One heart still pretending
She can keep them all within
I told my heart a story
And it followed every word
Built a castle from a shadow
And believed in what I saw
I told my heart a lie
And it wore it like a crown
Now we're dancing with temptation
While the moon is falling down
Give me the blue pill
I don't want to know
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
Blue pill
Blue pill
Give me one more summer
Before I let it go
Three girls keep on singing
And none will let me go
And all of them are searching
For the place I've never known
Why oh why
Isn't there a blue pill
Why oh why
Isn't there a blue pill
Into the corners of my eyes
Golden splinters in yours caught in sunlight
Turn to butterflies
A question falls between us
But drifts beyond my reach
And every song inside my head
Starts singing over me
Why oh why
Why oh why
Isn't there a blue pill
Give me the blue pill
I don't want to know
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
Blue pill
Blue pill
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
One is made of moonlight
One is made of fire
One keeps dancing barefoot
Through my wild desire
Peter Pan is laughing
Somewhere in the trees
Titania and Oberon
Are whispering through the leaves
A black spider spins her silver thread
Across a glass of wine
And every road I shouldn't take
Looks beautiful tonight
Give me the blue pill
I don't want to know
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
Blue pill
Blue pill
I am tired of choosing
Who I have to be today
One heart filled with longing
One heart dressed in sin
One heart still pretending
She can keep them all within
I told my heart a story
And it followed every word
Built a castle from a shadow
And believed in what I saw
I told my heart a lie
And it wore it like a crown
Now we're dancing with temptation
While the moon is falling down
Give me the blue pill
I don't want to know
Three girls live inside me
And none will let me go
Blue pill
Blue pill
Give me one more summer
Before I let it go
Three girls keep on singing
And none will let me go
And all of them are searching
For the place I've never known
Why oh why
Isn't there a blue pill
Why oh why
Isn't there a blue pill
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Story
I AM the Door, is about the moment you stop measuring yourself against other people’s pace, expectations and definitions of who you should be.
Not behind. Not lost. Not too much or too little.
Sometimes you’re simply finding a shape that fits you better.
A search for your own rhythm, your own voice, and ultimately the space to become who you are becoming.
You are the door.
Not behind. Not lost. Not too much or too little.
Sometimes you’re simply finding a shape that fits you better.
A search for your own rhythm, your own voice, and ultimately the space to become who you are becoming.
You are the door.
Lyrics
I’m not confined, I’m initiating motion
Not at a loss, I’m gathering devotion
Not collapsing, I’m widening ground
Not misplaced, I’m precisely unbound
Not lagging behind, I’m tracing a way
Through shifting lines that refuse to stay
Not overthinking, I’m threading sense
Through tides of feeling, vast and dense
Not hollow, I’m clearing space to receive
Not disarrayed, I’m learning to reweave
I’m not late, I arrive in my own design
Unfolding in rhythms that don’t need time
I’m not outside looking in anymore
I step through the threshold, I am the door
New to the language of everything here
Uncharted terrain, both distant and near
I’ve stopped contorting to fit their view
I’m loosening shapes I once thought I knew
Fragile, solitary, tenderly strange
A body in flux, a quiet exchange
Like fog lifting slow from a waking field
Like nerves laid open, no longer concealed
Every element brushes against my skin
Heightened awareness settling within
I’m not late, I arrive in my own design
Unfolding in rhythms that don’t need time
I’m not outside looking in anymore
I step through the threshold, I am the door
I’m not empty, I’m making room
For something unnamed to enter and bloom
Not out of balance, I’m shifting the scale
Rewriting the center where I set sail
Not out of love, I’ve altered the view
No longer searching for proof in you
I’m starting, evolving, I’m learning the tone
Of a voice that is finally sounding my own
Etching my signature, uneven but true
Aligned with the self I am growing into
Not at a loss, I’m gathering devotion
Not collapsing, I’m widening ground
Not misplaced, I’m precisely unbound
Not lagging behind, I’m tracing a way
Through shifting lines that refuse to stay
Not overthinking, I’m threading sense
Through tides of feeling, vast and dense
Not hollow, I’m clearing space to receive
Not disarrayed, I’m learning to reweave
I’m not late, I arrive in my own design
Unfolding in rhythms that don’t need time
I’m not outside looking in anymore
I step through the threshold, I am the door
New to the language of everything here
Uncharted terrain, both distant and near
I’ve stopped contorting to fit their view
I’m loosening shapes I once thought I knew
Fragile, solitary, tenderly strange
A body in flux, a quiet exchange
Like fog lifting slow from a waking field
Like nerves laid open, no longer concealed
Every element brushes against my skin
Heightened awareness settling within
I’m not late, I arrive in my own design
Unfolding in rhythms that don’t need time
I’m not outside looking in anymore
I step through the threshold, I am the door
I’m not empty, I’m making room
For something unnamed to enter and bloom
Not out of balance, I’m shifting the scale
Rewriting the center where I set sail
Not out of love, I’ve altered the view
No longer searching for proof in you
I’m starting, evolving, I’m learning the tone
Of a voice that is finally sounding my own
Etching my signature, uneven but true
Aligned with the self I am growing into
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Story
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys, grew from observing how we keep wanting more, further and higher. Our ‘monkey brain’ constantly seeks stimulation and immediate reward. But this endless pressure to perform, keep up and respond can also fuel chronic stress, exhaustion and burnout. As a psychologist, I know that stepping away from what isn’t ours to carry can be an important part of staying well. Sometimes you simply have to say: this is not mine.
Lyrics
They walk around with chips on their shoulders
Counting every wrong I’ve done
“Yeah yeah, the meeting, don’t be late”
While scrolling reels for hours on end
Faces glowing in the dark at dinner
Eyes that never really land
Running hard on silent pressure
Chasing clocks they never planned
Too late, too slow, not where they should be
At their age, in their rat race, in their dream machine
Not my circus
Not my monkeys
Not that noise
Not my weight
Keep your chaos out my doorway
I don’t carry what you create
All those monkeys screaming louder
I don’t feed them, I don’t wait
They leave their piles upon my table
Mountains I won’t take down
Phones glued tight against their ears
Polite words, but no one’s around
No invitations, just expectations
Dressed up nicely as “we care”
If their minds were turned inside out
We’d have monkeys everywhere
So loud, so fast, so disconnected
Every step just more corrected
Not my circus
Not my monkeys
Keep them running in your head
All that pressure you keep throwing
I lay in sunlight instead
Tell me…
Do you really wanna live like this?
Head pounding
Neck locked tight
Shoulders holding borrowed weight
Mind running circles
Something pulling, never full
Like a thousand little voices
Always needing something new
Tell me…
Do you ever just sit still?
I feel the grass beneath my bare feet
I don’t dodge the rain, I stay
No Wi-Fi, still connected
To the ones that feel like home
So keep your circus
Keep your monkeys
Spinning somewhere far away
I’ll be playing
Quiet, grounded
In my own unhurried day
Counting every wrong I’ve done
“Yeah yeah, the meeting, don’t be late”
While scrolling reels for hours on end
Faces glowing in the dark at dinner
Eyes that never really land
Running hard on silent pressure
Chasing clocks they never planned
Too late, too slow, not where they should be
At their age, in their rat race, in their dream machine
Not my circus
Not my monkeys
Not that noise
Not my weight
Keep your chaos out my doorway
I don’t carry what you create
All those monkeys screaming louder
I don’t feed them, I don’t wait
They leave their piles upon my table
Mountains I won’t take down
Phones glued tight against their ears
Polite words, but no one’s around
No invitations, just expectations
Dressed up nicely as “we care”
If their minds were turned inside out
We’d have monkeys everywhere
So loud, so fast, so disconnected
Every step just more corrected
Not my circus
Not my monkeys
Keep them running in your head
All that pressure you keep throwing
I lay in sunlight instead
Tell me…
Do you really wanna live like this?
Head pounding
Neck locked tight
Shoulders holding borrowed weight
Mind running circles
Something pulling, never full
Like a thousand little voices
Always needing something new
Tell me…
Do you ever just sit still?
I feel the grass beneath my bare feet
I don’t dodge the rain, I stay
No Wi-Fi, still connected
To the ones that feel like home
So keep your circus
Keep your monkeys
Spinning somewhere far away
I’ll be playing
Quiet, grounded
In my own unhurried day
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Story
As a child, I wanted to win the lottery and send five trucks through Amsterdam, scattering wildflower seeds along every street. I believed then, and still believe, that “impossible” can lose its meaning when you put love and energy into the path you take. Let Me Change Your Concept of Impossible is my posthumous message to that child — and to every child with a thousand dreams. Each dream is a precious seed waiting to grow.
Lyrics
I say let it rain down on us
With four-leaf clovers and marigolds
Let’s dance among the greenest grass
And somewhere between tomorrows
Let me change whatever needs to change
To make the future bend your way
Let me change your concept of impossible
I feel like dancing underneath the stars
Through a forest of forgotten tales
Watching the sunrise kiss the hills
Filled with the charm of endless days
Leaving new footprints toward the horizon
Butterfly kisses on your sun-kissed face
Let me never understand
Why the light shines quite so bright
Just let me change your concept of impossible
Standing here on this hillside
Watching shooting stars ignite
Burning brighter than our fears
A thousand fireflies arise
Like a thousand little lights
Shining through the coming years
We’re done asking fate for permission
Done waiting for signs in the sky
We walk where the wildflowers lead us
Let’s just do instead of try
The mountains don’t tell us the distance
The stars never ask if we can
We carry tomorrow within us
Before it unfolds in our hands
So let us change the concept of impossible
So let us change the concept of impossible
Let’s love
Let’s let our souls shine tonight
Let’s live next to forever
So let us change the concept of impossible
So let us change the concept of impossible
With four-leaf clovers and marigolds
Let’s dance among the greenest grass
And somewhere between tomorrows
Let me change whatever needs to change
To make the future bend your way
Let me change your concept of impossible
I feel like dancing underneath the stars
Through a forest of forgotten tales
Watching the sunrise kiss the hills
Filled with the charm of endless days
Leaving new footprints toward the horizon
Butterfly kisses on your sun-kissed face
Let me never understand
Why the light shines quite so bright
Just let me change your concept of impossible
Standing here on this hillside
Watching shooting stars ignite
Burning brighter than our fears
A thousand fireflies arise
Like a thousand little lights
Shining through the coming years
We’re done asking fate for permission
Done waiting for signs in the sky
We walk where the wildflowers lead us
Let’s just do instead of try
The mountains don’t tell us the distance
The stars never ask if we can
We carry tomorrow within us
Before it unfolds in our hands
So let us change the concept of impossible
So let us change the concept of impossible
Let’s love
Let’s let our souls shine tonight
Let’s live next to forever
So let us change the concept of impossible
So let us change the concept of impossible
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Story
This song is inspired by Maria Moltzer (1874–1944), the Dutch nurse and pioneering psychoanalyst who worked closely with Carl Gustav Jung (1875–1961) from 1910 onward.
Their intellectual and possibly personal relationship eventually ended in a rupture, after which Moltzer withdrew from Jung’s circle in 1918.
In 1916, she had developed her own ideas about intuition as a psychological function, ideas that later became part of Jung’s typology.
Her withdrawal raises the question of how much of her isolation was a choice, and how much was the result of a painful personal and intellectual struggle.
The song portrays a woman retreating from the world not simply to disappear, but to protect her own mind, claim her own voice and fight for her place as a psychoanalyst.
Their intellectual and possibly personal relationship eventually ended in a rupture, after which Moltzer withdrew from Jung’s circle in 1918.
In 1916, she had developed her own ideas about intuition as a psychological function, ideas that later became part of Jung’s typology.
Her withdrawal raises the question of how much of her isolation was a choice, and how much was the result of a painful personal and intellectual struggle.
The song portrays a woman retreating from the world not simply to disappear, but to protect her own mind, claim her own voice and fight for her place as a psychoanalyst.
Lyrics
If God doesn't play dice with the universe,
why's He playing games with me?
He keeps throwing my soul around,
like a coin without a prayer,
never caring where I fall.
I never asked for miracles.
I never begged the stars to move.
All I ever wanted
was you.
I keep looking for a reason,
trying to read between the lines.
If this story had a purpose,
why'd it end before its time?
If God doesn't play dice with the universe,
why's He playing games with me?
God must be playing...
throwing my soul around,
like a coin without a prayer,
never caring where I fall.
'Cause all I wanted,
all I ever wanted,
was you by my side.
Not heaven.
Not answers.
Not another lesson to survive.
Just you,
by my side.
You felt like home before I knew you,
like we'd met somewhere beyond this life.
Every road I'd ever wandered
ended somewhere in your eyes.
So tell me how a heart can know it
when fate just walks away.
Why let me find my heaven
if heaven couldn't stay?
So I keep staring at the constellations,
tracing every line they ever drew.
Looking for a road, a sign, a reason,
anything that leads me back to you.
If every star already knows its story,
if every soul is written in the sky...
Then why introduce me to my heaven
just to leave me here in hell?
If God doesn't play dice with the universe,
why's He playing games with me?
God must be playing...
throwing my soul around,
like a coin without a prayer,
never caring where I fall.
'Cause all I wanted,
all I ever wanted,
was you by my side.
Not heaven.
Not answers.
Not another lesson to survive.
Just you,
by my side.
If God doesn't play dice
with the universe...
Maybe God does play dice...
Not with the universe...
But with me.
why's He playing games with me?
He keeps throwing my soul around,
like a coin without a prayer,
never caring where I fall.
I never asked for miracles.
I never begged the stars to move.
All I ever wanted
was you.
I keep looking for a reason,
trying to read between the lines.
If this story had a purpose,
why'd it end before its time?
If God doesn't play dice with the universe,
why's He playing games with me?
God must be playing...
throwing my soul around,
like a coin without a prayer,
never caring where I fall.
'Cause all I wanted,
all I ever wanted,
was you by my side.
Not heaven.
Not answers.
Not another lesson to survive.
Just you,
by my side.
You felt like home before I knew you,
like we'd met somewhere beyond this life.
Every road I'd ever wandered
ended somewhere in your eyes.
So tell me how a heart can know it
when fate just walks away.
Why let me find my heaven
if heaven couldn't stay?
So I keep staring at the constellations,
tracing every line they ever drew.
Looking for a road, a sign, a reason,
anything that leads me back to you.
If every star already knows its story,
if every soul is written in the sky...
Then why introduce me to my heaven
just to leave me here in hell?
If God doesn't play dice with the universe,
why's He playing games with me?
God must be playing...
throwing my soul around,
like a coin without a prayer,
never caring where I fall.
'Cause all I wanted,
all I ever wanted,
was you by my side.
Not heaven.
Not answers.
Not another lesson to survive.
Just you,
by my side.
If God doesn't play dice
with the universe...
Maybe God does play dice...
Not with the universe...
But with me.
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